When I was in Business School a couple of decades ago, I was lucky to undertake an elective called “Tracking Creative Boundaries”. As part of the course, the professor introduced us to several eminent personalities from different walks of life including musicians, folk artists, sculptors, writers etc., As I reflect on these memories, one thing stands out. These people had identified their calling or passion but had worked exceptionally hard to develop the same without giving up. They had faced several failures/backlashes but their determination to stand up, fight out and develop exceptional capabilities in their chosen field made all the difference. Similarly, I once met a now famous eminent author at an IIM Alumni meet. This bloke had an illustrious academic pedigree, had worked at leading institutions but found his true calling in writing. His first book which was no great epic, albeit a best seller took him 4 years to write. That is a true testament to the fact that anything good requires hard work, dedication, consistency, and persistence. Mere passion or expression of interest in an area is a good start but it is a different ball game to get something productive out of this passion.
I always believed that the best inheritance that I got from my parents were middle class values. Throughout my childhood, while they gave us all the required goodies, they never overdid the bit and firmly ground us in the fact that hard work in pursuit of excellence in our chosen field was important. They did afford us the occasional indulgence but the importance of integrity in both our values and our efforts was constantly reinforced. A cliched but often quoted reminder was that they will not go out of their way to buy an academic spot in college or otherwise but that we would have to get it on our own merit. Alternately, if we were not able to make it despite our best efforts, they will put their weight behind whatever was available, but it will have to be meritocratic. Last but not the least, they always made sure that we realized that while some wants were acceptable, money was to be spent only on absolute needs and that every available resource would be stretched to its maximum so that we understood that money does not grow on trees (regardless of its availability). There were several times during my life, when I lost track and strayed, but these values served as a beacon and brought me back on track. The fact that both my father and I retired from corporate life by the age of 45 is a testament to this very habit of not taking things for granted and the need to be consistent and persistent with one’s goals.
Today, as most of us live upper middle-class lives, these very values seem to be getting eroded at a rapid pace. Several of the folks in my age group are from middle class backgrounds like mine and have also been groomed in similar situations. However, for some reason, they do not want their children to take a similar hard route. In their enthusiasm to make lives easier for their next gen, they go overboard with their indulgences. Right from a young age, the kids are told to try different things(which prima facie seems good) but they do not push them to give their best effort at mastering these interests. At the first sign of failure, they are told not to push themselves and find something else that suits them. The modern day pressures of both parents working and throwing money around to identify avenues to outsourcing parenting have only added to this chaos. It seems like passion is something that will come to them very easily and they should try to keep trying till they find it. This is the modern-day vision of Liberalism as they put it. While I agree with the first part of the premise, I vehemently disagree with the later. Liberalism is a political and moral philosophy based on the rights of the individual, liberty, consent of the governed and equality before the law. It is not about encouraging laziness or lethargy. It is also not about measuring one’s interest sheerly based on results in established competitions. It is giving a person freedom to express one’s view of the word as they see it. One is never going to find the passion by doing things at a surface level. Building strong foundations in an interest area requires consistent practice, making mistakes, learning from them, and then deciding if this is something right up their alley. Giving up after just a few basic tries isn’t fair to the child or to the art form that is being taught. When learning to drive a car, the first step of moving from neutral to first gear and starting the car is always the tough step. Once this achieve, going to higher gears is easy. In fact, going from the 4th to 5th gear while driving on a highway is one of the easiest and fun things to do. All these exhilarations could not be achieved if the person does not learn the first step of moving from neutral to first gear. One of my ex-colleagues was in the habit of using the office personnel working for him to do assignments for his kid so that the kid would gain a dark edge. This habit started in his primary school days and went on even when the kid went to college. I always wonder as to how long this charade can continue. How is gaining an unfair dark edge going to prepare this kid for the unforeseen challenges that life tends to throw at us. Is this the right type of parenting or is the father really doing a dis-service to his child by not exposing him to the hardships of life? Dont we all realize the value of failures and positive criticisms help build character and humility which help us to lead more fulfilled and happier lives?
A classic example of this kind of thinking that has always fascinated me is one of India’s caricature politicians Rahul Gandhi. This guy now aged almost 50 was born in a family which gave India, 3 of its prime ministers and who all came from an aristocratic and influential family. This family has played an important role in India’s polity for more than 100 years especially in the last 75 years post-independence. By every stretch of imagination, Rahul appears to be guy with good intentions. However, over the last 2 decades when he has been in active politics, he has hardly demonstrated any competence to understand the grassroot level problems. Further other than making some dramatic statements on and off, he has not demonstrated any consistency or ability to work hard. After all why should he? He was born with a silver spoon, surrounded always by sycophants who have given him the illusion that his pedigree is good enough for him to run the country and his initial entry into mainstream politics was enabled seamlessly just through this legacy. Everything came on a platter. However, as most things in life go, all this pedigree can help one get a start but sustainable success in any area requires hard work (to acquire competence), consistency, perseverance, and humility. The guy has never been able to connect with India[s electorate at any level because he could never relate to either the intellectuals or the common man as he is neither. He neither works hard to be an intellectual nor spends time to understand and connect with the common man. He mistakes sympathy for empathy and thinks that offering a word of sympathy at disconnected things will help him win them over. This famous interview in 2014 with Arnab Goswami really exposed him and revealed his shallowness and of course laziness. Nevertheless, to say, it has been all the way downhill since then. This phenomenon is also seen in family run businesses. For those of who have followed the popular American Series “Billions“, there is an episode when the protagonist Bobby Axelrod launches a hostile takeover of a family run business which is currently run by the 3rd generation family member. As he says, this is classic textbook “Hutch the first kickstarts it, Hutch the second builds it and Hutch the third shanks it”.
The question to ask is that are we building a generation of entitled brats in the name of Liberalism? I do agree that every kid need not be groomed to take on rigorous academic routines, but shouldn’t they be pushed to work their best in their areas of interest? Giving up things at the drop of first failure is nothing more than encouraging mediocrity and is not true Liberalism. Learning is a lifelong pursuit, and shouldn’t we encourage our children to develop this habit so that they spend their lives in a more fulfilled way? As such 99.5% of us just live mediocre lives just going through the motions and refuse to learn. Is this what we want the next-gen kids to be? I would be aghast if we created a country of Rahul Gandhis. The new world that our children are inheriting is significantly more complex than what we inherited. The so called Technology advancements have made the world connected but they have also introduced several dimensions with hitherto unpredictable behavioural patterns. Navigating their lives through this myriad mosaic is going to require oodles of those old-world virtues which are hard work, integrity, consistency, and persistence. After all, nothing good ever comes easy and anything that comes too easy doesn’t really do any good. As Jim Collins says “The signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency”. So, is it time for us to stop encouraging mediocrity in the name of Liberalism?
Experiential Musings 
Very important lessons for todays parents told beautifully..